Billy Numerous and all his Girlfriends
by Artemis 85
Summary: Billy Numerous is a dorky and annoying guy, but all the girls in the Titans programme will see past that. Billy Star Raven Bee Jinx Random Girl with wings Blackfire..Complete insanity, Rated T for Teen
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans neither do you I'd bet on that too, hey that rhymes.

A/N: High how r u I'd like to know.

The spandex-clad villain turned a corner and walked down the hallway of the HIVE academy.

"Damn nose pickin evil doesers." He kicked a random piece of metal on the floor.

He tripped on it, because he scuffed it with his shoe. He pressed his face into the aluminum floor and screamed, he screamed as loud as he could, like guy whose balls hadn't dropped yet (No offense.) The sound echoed it's way through the hallway.

He rolled over onto his back and stared up at yet more aluminum, with light bouncing off the highly polished metal.

"I need to get ma self a girly."


	2. Magic potion 101

A/N: Here's the second chappie.

Billy Numerous walked down the hallway to Jinx's room and opened the door. It creaked loudly. "Ello?" he whispered into the emptiness of the dark voided room.

He walked in and looked around he suddenly remembered something. "Hey Jinx is a sorceress, so she should have some sort of magic potions." He looked over at a bookshelf, a really tall bookshelf.

"Thank the lord everything is in alphabetical order." Billy said to himself. He traced his finger over the spines of books as he searched for what he wanted. "L, l, l, l, l, l, ah found it." He pulled out a pinky, reddish book with rich blue writing on it and ran out of the room.

He closed his bedroom door behind him with a load 'screech!' and laid the book on his bed. "Gotta fix them creaky doors." He sat on his bed and opened up the book. It red 'Love potions for obtaining that special someone.'

"This looks promising." He thought to himself.

He red all the descriptions of all the love potions but none seemed to fit the criteria of what he was looking for, until he red a perfume based potion labeled 'Love potion 101.'

(Corny huh?)

The description said "A perfume that, when is sprayed will emit an intoxicating scent that hypnotizes the one you want to fall head over heals for you."

He red the ingredients and rushed back to Jinx's room to get them, but he didn't read the warning, it said.

Side effects,' May have varied side effects on Demons/half demons, fairies, Aliens, and some wood land creatures.'

A/N: I won't be updating for a while since it's the holidays and people want me updating other stories but I'll try, I promise. Oh and after this chapter there will be longer ones.


	3. The first test subject

A/N: thank you to all those wonderful people who read my fanfics, go on go read more I don't mind…honestly.

Billy ran back to his room, trying not to drop the precious ingredients. He chucked them on his bed and picked the book up again.

The ingredients were as follows

1 Black rose

2 Eggs

4 oz of butter

6 oz of sugar

1 rock

And 1 chocolate cookie, preferably a chocolate thin (don't own em.)

He checked to see if he had the right ingredients "Yep."

Then he read how to prepare them

'Cream butter and sugar; add eggs, 1 crushed black rose, 1 rock, and 1 chocolate thin. Once prepared, pour mix into fast safe bowl and freeze for 20minutes.'

3hours later Billy had finally learnt how to cream the butter and the eggs, believe me it isn't easy.

He then pour the mix into the fast safe bowl and freezed it for 20mins.

Once it was finished he rubbed the goop on his face, which mad him look like he had one of those face mask thingy's on his…face.

He strode out of his room over to jinx "Hey Jinx." He said in his most 'irresistible voices'

"What the hell is that on your face?"

"Uhhh"

"Is that bird crap on your face!"

"Ummmm"

"You know what?"

"What!" Billy asked hopefully.

"Just stay the hell away from me or I might switch sides."

"Billy walked down the hallway to wash his face off and accidentally bumped into that chick with wings who I'm just gonna call…Angel. (Please don't laugh at me.)

"Hi Billy." She waved fondly.

"Oh hi."

"What's that on your face?"

"Ummm."

"She started to giggle."

"Are you Okay?"

"Never Better."

He looked into the lounge and saw an air duct that was sucking up the air.

"Oh so that's why"

"You smell good." Angel started to drool then she fell over.

Jinx walked buy and caught a wif of the stuff and she to looked like she was in a drunken haze "You smell good Billy."

"Umm thanks…"

"No really you do"

"Yeh I know."

"No, no I'm serious."

Then she fainted. "Oh crap what do I do I don't know the codes to their rooms!" He screamed in his head.

A smile appeared on his face "A good excuse I guess" He was just about to drag the two girls off when See-more walked past, See-more winked…well more like, Blinked fondly, Blew a kiss at Billy then continued walking.

"That's just wrong." Billy thought then dragged the two girls off.


	4. Good smells

A/N: I'm actually starting to like this story so I'll pay a lot more attention to it.

Jinx and…Angel (laughs are heard) "SHUT UP!" I'm scream as I take my shoe off and throw it at a crowd of random people "That's right." I collect my shoe and put it back on, "Now my story continues in a kingdom far, far away where donkeys have wings and rabbit's are genetically enhanced mutant killers that…wait this isn't right….ohhhhhhh wrong story, hehehh" takes out a manila folder and takes out some papers, "Here we go!"

clears throat "And here's the story again."

Jinx and Angel woke up in a strange, dimly lit room "What the hell!" Angel screamed.

"Ahhhhhhh, I'm in Billy's room, ewwwwww farm yard germs!" Jinx screamed as she got up and dusted her self off.

Angel had a weird distant look on her face. "What are you talking about Jinx? It smells good in here." She wobbled a bit before falling back down on the bed.

"C'mon wings we gotta get you up!" Jinx dragged her by her arms off the bed and out of Billy's room. The door air locked behind them.

Billy came out of the shadows "Excellent my plan has succeeded!" He rubbed his hands together as he cackled evilly.

"Now to get more girl friends…."

Billy walked out of his room into the lounge. Mammoth was eating a molding pie suddenly he sniffed in heavily. "What are you wearing it smells like bird crap" He sniffed again. This time his pupils got really huge, nearly taking up his whole iris.

"What ever it is it smells good." Mammoth made a grab for him

"Waaahhhhhh" Billy dogged.

See-more walked in carrying a beauty magazine. (Don't own em' but I hate em')

"Hey Billy." He striked a pose and blinked…um…sexily?

"Ahhhhhhhh, every ones going mad!" Billy starched his face.

Just them Madame Rouge (sp?) walked in "Okay students I have a new assignment for you" she said in a French accent.

Like everyone else she just had to breath. "What is that dread-; her eyes went big she growled…ummmm….sexily?

"Hello handsome." She grabbed Billy and tipped him like the dance move (I don't dance, tried it once hated it...then I shot it…yeah)

Billy tried to get away as Madame Rouge leaned into kiss him. "WAAAAHHHHH!" he screamed, he made two duplicates of himself that pushed Madame Rouge off and the all ran away.

The original Billy stopped at the door "You've all gone MAD!" he heavily wiped his hands down each side of his face, making his bottom lip fold down and made the rest of his face give off the whole 'I'm melting!' look.

He ran off.

"….." said everyone.

Finally See-more spoke up "You scared him away!" He pushed Rouge angrily.

"Ohh I did not!" she pushed back.

Jinx walked up to her and slapped her so hard her cloths went backwards like criss-cross. (I love Eminem!)

"You BITCH!" Rouge ripped some of her cloths off and dumped them on the floor as if they were rags.

"You did not!" Jinx pulled of both of Rouge's gloves.

"Do you know how much dis shit costs!" Rouge ripped more of Jinx's clothes off.

See-more shrugged and pulled up a seat, as did Mammoth and Angel. (More laughs are heard "I said SHUT UP!" I throw my shoes at them, "Next time it's going to be steal caps!" The audience shushed.)

But Angel went to sleep because she wasn't a lesbo.

A/N: I guess that was funny….Yeah…Hey I'm starting to get ma' funny back!. Someone throws a pair of steal capped boots at my head….what are we talking about again! - hehehehe c ya!


	5. END! sori!

A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated very much on this story lately, last week I got sick and couldn't even eat chocolate, which is a big thing for me not to eat chocolate. Anyway I'm hoping to finish this fic soon, it's always in the back of my head, knowing away at my conscience.

"Whew" Billy Numerous walked down the footpath "Dat' wuz' close" Billy wiped away a bead of sweat and walked into near-by jewelers shop. "Put' dem' stones' in da' bag'"

"Okay" the man behind the counter sneakily slipped his hand under the desk and pressed a button. Hoping someone would come soon, he began to unload precious jewels into the brown bag. Almost done Billy turned to make sure the coast was clear, the titans, in Cyborg's car whirled around the corner.

"Freeze Billy!" Robin yelled, pulling out his bird-a-rang, Billy multiplied "Just try in' catch' me'" Starfire pounced on him, holding him down while straddling his waist, then she caught a wif of Billy's cologne. As Starfire randomly made out with the evil guy the titans stared.

"Is she supposed to do that, because if she is, I'm going to the dark side dude!" said the shopkeeper. Robin looked like he was about to cry watching his semi-girlfriend make out with a crook. "What are you doing star?" Raven walked up cautiously then caught a wif and joined in. All the straight guys stared at the three and from that day on, Billy was considered a very lucky guy.

At least half a night later Billy managed to break free from the two hungry chicks, no seriously they were like, licking his face! "Ahhhhhh finally'" Billy flopped down onto the couch. "Hi Billy" See-more giggled as he stood in the hallway entrance wearing a red silk dress. "Tough day?" he slid up and down the doorframe.

"…Yeah" Billy said unsurely and began to slowly creep off the couch.

"A little…unrelieved stress?" See-more started to massage his shoulders. "Ohhh you're so tense!"

"Yeah…thanks but I'm gonna' go now' got some…filing to do" he began to back away from his freaky friend

"Awwwww" See-more moaned "So soon?"

Billy snorted, "Yeah…whew so much paper work." See-more slid his shaven leg up Billy's thigh "Well maybe I could help you with that.

He had totally crossed the freakin' gross line!

"Beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep" Billy made the noise of a cell phone. "Ahhh yeah that's my cell phone, I'm expecting an important call from…my hot girlfriend" See-more cried as Billy made his escape.

"Hello gorgeous" Madame Rouge seemed to appear from no-where meaning another hurtle for Billy.

"Oh' mah' gawd' look'!" Billy pointed out the window "It's Mento from da' doom' patrol!"

"Where!" she cried a little bit too enthusiastically. Billy threw himself threw a doorway and closed the door behind him. "Ohhhh Billy…darling?" Billy could hear Madame Rouge tapping on door with her well purmed fingernails. "Open the door so I can come in" Billy cringed.

"Ahhh nah' I' uhhhh' gewt' mah' hawt' girly' friend' in here' wid' me'" Billy hoped this sad excuse for a lie would work. He could hear Madame Rouge crying on the other side. "Yes" he pumped a relived fist infront of his face and jumped out a conveniently placed window.

As he walked down the road, women of many shapes and cultures dropped their bags and followed him, not to mention the gay guys, wearing tight pants and see-through T-shirts.

"Maybe I' can' use' this to mah' advantage" he whispered. "All you guys' and girls' who want me…MUST DESTROY TITANS TOWER!"

Everyone shrugged but because they wanted a piece of Billy, they did it anyway.

$$$&$$$&$$$&$$$&$$$&$$$&Wid da Titans&$$$&$$$&$$$&$$$&

The Titans were doing random stuff, Raven was reading a dirty girl book, BB was reading a dirty girl book comic, Robin was saying crazy shit about Slade and Starfire was baking some sort of mutated dish. Suddenly a heard of people, mainly gay guys, stormed through the walls and doors of Titans tower.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Starfire screamed and threw her spatula up into the air, Cyborg rushed out. "What wrong!" he cried, boxers around his ankles. Yeah I know he's a Cyborg and doesn't wear clothes but…yeah. "ALL SORTS OF SHIT!" Starfire threw star bolts at random people.

A very expensive fight scene later…

Billy and his army of chicks and gays had easily over powered the teams of Teens. Starfire and Raven went back to Billy and hugged him. Even calling Titans East didn't work, Aqualad and Speedy were already gay, Bee was a straight chick and Fat Bastards was recruited and he ate the 'Babies' or Mas y Menos. "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, dibs!" He screamed.

Speedy started singing. "You must whip it good! You must whip! IT GOOD! I SAID WHIP BITCH!" and Aqualad was humping Billy's leg. Billy was wearing a red expensive nightgown, wearing hot expensive pants and a pair of eagle eye glasses, as well as smoking a pipe with not bubbles or tobacco you guessed it, it was…talcum powder!

After Billy had killed the Titans he overpowered the world and all their women belonged to him, he put the old guy who owned the playboy mansion into hospital and took over the company. He owned heaps of hawwwwwwwwwwwwwttttttttttttt cars including chevy's, corvette's, holdens and burned every Ford in creation! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!.

A/N: well that's the end of the story…If you're not fully happy with this story…well fuck ya'! SEEEEEEE YAHHHHHHHHH!

Artemis 85 (rocks!)


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